Since the last blog, i have had many people talking to me about their happy childhood, writing to me about the amazing things they would create with their dads out of rusty old nails and off-cuts from the shed, and the feeling that was being expressed was the same throughout, it was one of joy, simplicity and feeling connected.
The joy of limitless possibility as a child, the ability to rejoice in the simplest things, and the importance of being truly connected to your family.
I wrote in my previous blog about how wonderful it was for me as a father to share the experience of making the go-cart, and playing on it with the children, but i am also very aware of how important it is to the children, that time of unconditional attention, passion ans creativity.
It's amazing what we can see when we start looking in the memory banks of our childhood, there are the birthday and Christmas memories. Then for some reason there are the short camping trips, a bike ride shared with your dad, a doll made by your mum, a tree house that was no more than a pallet nailed to a tree with a rope to climb up, but to you, as a child, it was your hideaway, your tree top den, you were robin hood and your garden was full of baddies hunting you down, so you tied a piece of string to a stick - a bow and arrow, and suddenly you were a woodland warrior, with the skill and accuracy to shoot an apple from atop a mans head from a hundred paces...
Which brings me on to a couple of slightly different comments i received about the go-cart. "no brakes? thats very dangerous", "it looks very fast, are you sure it's safe", or "yeah, my kids love playing go carts on the iPad"!!! These people are the ones who petitioned to take down the zip-wire in the local park because they hadn't seen adequate risk assessments, or they complained to the swimming pool staff because some children were laughing too loud.
What these people are missing, by a huge margin, is what is important about childhood, why adults can't understand childrens games, and why as parents, as soon as you limit a childs world with health and safety forms, risk assessments and red tape, you are removing that wonderful, magical world where anything is possible, and suddenly it's a world where most things are possible as long as it fits the given criteria or fits on a screen, and we can't play fairies because daddy says they aren't real, and my teacher says that it's silly to want be an astronaut because i'll never manage it, instead i should dream of being an accountant in a big company with a good pension plan.........yawn.
Yesterday me and my two eldest boys made bows and arrows (see photo), we cut down the wood, carved the bows and strung them. then we made arrows, not plastic arrows with suckers on the end, these are dead straight wooden arrows, that fly a long way. Because Robin Hood never got the baddies with plastic arrows on an iPad.
What makes life so special as a child, is the ability to lose yourself in a world more exciting and dangerous than the one where you had to do maths and brush your teeth before bed. In those games, those worlds, you could be anyone, you could go anywhere, and anything was possible, dragons, princesses, spaceships, race cars and pirate ships.
I have recently been getting into many conversations about parenting, education and the uncertain future of our children. And people have been watching us as a family doing things a bit differently, so the curiosity about our methods has got the better of them. Most parents concerns are about education, and whether their child is doing well at school, whether they measure up well, and get the grades.
Our approach is a little different. As parents we believe that it is our job to equip our children with the skills that we think will be necessary for their success as an adult. However rather that focus on the small, detailed content of a childs life, hoping that success in certain school subjects will enable great success. We focus on a bigger picture. So we are equipping our children with creativity, imagination, passion, freedom, empathy and love.
When i share this with people they come back with all sorts of remarks, that come from a lack of confidence in what they believe, so they just go with the crowd, fit in, and hopefully no one will notice them if they don't stick their neck out. No, i don't care that my children aren't learning to use a computer, no i don't think that not having a tv means they are missing out, and I believe that if they want to be doctors or lawyers one day, then they will be equipped with the commitment, belief and passion to get there.
We believe that with these skills in their tool box, their future won't be an unfulfilling experience of being limited by quaifications, it will be one where anything is possible, because the tools they have, are the foundation of any success. But also we will equip them with the knowledge that happiness, love, generosity and fulfillment are the most important successes to aim for.
